Friday, June 20, 2008

Once upon a time.................

in a land not so far away ( called Arkansas ) there lived a girl (woman , old lady , whatever ) named Avarella. She had two little boys and a husband that were so mean to her , and treated her like a step-mama. They wouldn't mind her and were always asking silly , useless questions like , "whats for supper" and " do you know where my shoes are". Now Avarella scrubbed and cooked and cleaned all day and when the children and her husband came home , they messed it up so she had to do it all over again. Although Avarella did not have to wear rags , she always had one in her hand , so to her it was the same difference , if you know what I mean.

One day when Avarella was in the corner scrubbing Kool-aid stains out of the carpet , she over heard the children and her husband talking about going on a vacation. Vacation! Ha! Avarella had been on one of those before and she knew that they would pretend that they wanted her to come along , but it was just so she could wash their underwear and scrub their stains and cook for them. She wondered if she would ever get a vacation for herself , where she could do what the others did ( lay on their butts , jump and laugh in swimming pool , eat and throw the wrappers on the floor , etc, etc ). Timidly , with rag in hand , she approached them as they were talking about the vacation. " Hey Guys , do you think that this time when we go on vacation , you could maybe........ah.....clean up after yourselves so I can have fun too"? Well they looked at her like she had grown two heads , so she crept back to the corner to attend to her stain.

Well as the day approached for the vacation , Avarella worked her butt off to get them all ready. She cleaned and ironed and packed. She loaded the truck and made sure that they had everything they needed , including plenty of snacks , swimming pool toys , and clothes. She kissed them all and put them in the truck with their father and closed the door and said , " Have a good time. I love you . Ya'll come back now , ya hear"! They looked at her with wide eyed wonder , because she had never done such a thing before. Avarella explained patiently ,that yes indeed , she was staying home this year , and taking her own vacation! Well , it took some doing but after much explaining and talking yadayadayada they finally left and she was a free woman for one week.

Avarella walked ( skipped ) back into the house and listened. She didn't hear anything. It sounded kind of strange , but nice. She decided to listen to some music , NOT COUNTRY , and then she picked out a good book and lay down on the couch and began to read. She hadn't been able to do that in years , except in the middle of the night when everyone else was asleep. She could hear the clock going tick tock tick tock , and just then a mouse ran up the clock, hickory dickory dock , and she wondered why the *amn mouse trap under the sink didn't work. Anyway , back to the book. But she couldn't concentrate , it was just too quite. Avarella decided that she wasn't in the mood for reading anyway. She thought it might be fun to go to her closet and play with all her purses and glass slippers , because she never had time to do that.She barely had time to even dress herself in the mornings. In fact , one day when she was at a PTA meeting she looked down and saw that she had on two different glass slippers and she was very embarrassed because all the other rella's looked very "well-groomed and put together".

Avarella soon grew tired of that so she went to the kitchen and got some ice cream , but she found that it didn't taste as good if she wasn't hiding in the closet to eat it. So she got a snack instead , went back to the couch , and threw the wrapper on the floor. But that made her nervous so she got up and picked it up. On the way to the trash can she saw a drawing on the fridge that said , " dear mama , "I love you becuse you are prutty and you cook goud ". That made her sad , because she realized that she missed her little boys and maybe she should have gone with them. She knew she loved them and she didn't see what was wrong with just wanting some time to herself. Avarella decided to go kiss the frog to see if anything would happen like in the fairy tales. She had to close her eyes to do it because he looked real weird when you got that close , and all that happened was that her lips felt funny. So then she decided to call her Fairy Godperson ( gay cousin in Louisiana ) and see if he had any advice. " If you miss them girl , go catch up with them! No point in staying home if you're not happy", he told her.

So Avarella ran out to get in her golden carriage ( gold mini-van ) but just about that time , she was awakened by someone on the radio screaming , " IT'S MIDNIGHT- DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR HUSBAND IS? YEEEE-HAW"!? So she woke up and realized that she wasn't in kansas ( I mean at home ) anymore. In fact she had been dreaming like in a fairy tale or whatever , and she had been in the truck with her family all along. The boys were in the back seat fighting and her husband was listening to country music and they were on the way to West Virginia , and there was still 15 HOURS TO GO. Avarella cried and begged and screamed for them to let her out of the truck , but they wouldn't do it ,so that was when she realized that they really did love her , even if she did have to wait on them hand and foot. Sometimes that's just what rella's do , you know?

Anyway , to make a long story short ( too late for that ) the moral of this story is , LIFE IS NOT MUCH FUN IF YOU'RE ALL ALONE , oh and also , KISSING FROGS AIN'T WHAT IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE NO MATTER WHAT THE FAIRY TALES SAY. Anyway , so they went to West Virginia and had a good time , although Avarella was very tired when they got home , you know from scrubbing and cooking and yadayada , and they are still living happily ever after.................

but when they got home they discovered that there was an empty snack wrapper on the floor , some of her husbands clothes and a pair of shoes were missing , and the frog was gone..............


Anonymous said...

Isn't that just like a frog? He waits around until you give up on him and then BOOM! The prince walks off into the sunset wearing your husbands loafers.

Great story, Ava!!!!


Barbara said...

Good morning, Ava!
WVButterfly has the idea...d**n frogs!