Sunday, May 24, 2009

Mama said there'd be days like this.....

The other day I woke up with a bad headache . I should have just quit my job and went back to bed. But I drug my old tired butt out of the bed (first mistake ) and stumbled to the bathroom and looked in the mirror ( second mistake ). It gets worse every day. I think I was 10 years older than when I went to bed the night before. I had dreamed all night of being chased by robbers. That takes a lot of energy , not to mention the fear of what they would do to me when they caught me and found out I was broke. Anyway , while I was trying to brush my hair , I discovered a bony ridge on my skull. This ridge was right in the middle if my skull , starting at the hairline. It went about 3 inches back , ending exactly where my sunglasses sit. On either side of the ridge were two little trenches. They were pretty deep. Well , great , I thought. During the night some horrible abnormality had formed on my head , and now I had to deal with that , along with all the other crap I was sure I would face that day.
Well ,had to go to work no matter what obscenity was growing out of my head. As I pushed my sunglasses back I noticed that the nose pieces fit PERFECTLY in each little trench. I never wear them on my eyes , just to hold my hair back. I'd been doing it for years , so I decided I would go without them a few days to see if that was causing the problem. Sure enough , the trenches begin to disappear so that the ridge could no longer be felt. Who would have ever thought you could wear TRENCHES in your head with your glasses?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I wanted to tell you about my DAY. I went on to work and had the usual . You know the kind. I had to pay the bills that day , so when I got home that afternoon , I was as broke as I was when I started. Only difference was my feet were swollen and my back hurt. When I stopped at the mailbox I noticed a letter from the social security. For a moment I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe they had made a mistake on withholding or something? Maybe we were gonna actually have some money left over out of my husbands check each week? I eagerly tore the letter open and this is what it said: "GOOD NEWS! You qualify for a free funeral"! Now who in the *ell do they think that is good news for? Not for me. Maybe for my relatives. Why didn't they send THEM the frigging letter. What a day!

Well , as they say , there's a silver lining in every cloud , so I guess the fact that I have lived long enough to qualify for a free funeral is good news. Hey , I take it where I can get it , you know what I mean? And I'm an optimist at heart , so as I lay my weary head upon my pillow , I knew tomorrow would be a better day! I just wish there was some way to tell those robbers that I 'm broke before they start chasing me again tonight........