Wednesday, July 2, 2008

WARNING

I used to be the kind of person that read the cereal box while I was eating. Not any more. Not after I read the can of Potted meat once while munching a potted meat sandwich. Potted meat. That sounds pretty gross anyway , but boy wait until you read whats in it.

You really have to be careful what you read now days. Cause if you read too much , you'll be afraid to go to sleep , eat anything , drive the car , brush your teeth , drink a glass of water........... The list is endless. The other day my grandson was getting ready to get on a bus to go on vacation. He needed a pair of headphones , so I stopped at the store , ran in and got a pair and ran back out to the car. The bus was due in 10 minutes , so I started ripping open the package ( not an easy job ) and then I saw THE WARNING in little bitty tiny print. It said " Warning: This device contains chemicals known to contain cancer producing agents. Wash hands immediately after handling." What the *ell? I'm supposed to let my grandson stick those in his EARS? Right next to his BRAIN? And how the *ell is he supposed to get them in his ears without using his hands anyway?

I wasn't going to let him have them but he insisted that everything in the world had that warning on it and the bus was fixing to come and he had to GO! While, we stood there and waited on the bus ( it was 2 hours late ) I made him promise to wash his hands after he put them in his ears , and to wash his ears after he used them. Why don't they just make the things out of SOMETHING ELSE?

Then there are the labels that don't make any sense. And packages that you can't get open. What about medicine. I guess childproof caps are good. (Although my little boys can get them open , but I can't) . What about childproof caps on ...say ....muscle relaxers. You're ok on the first one , but what you gonna do when it comes time to take the second one? If the first one worked , wouldn't you be too relaxed and drooly to get that blasted bottle open. What kind of bottles do they put nitro pills for heart attacks in? It better be something pretty easy , I'll tell you that , cause I *amn near had a heart attack the other day trying to get a bottle of Advil open for my PMS. What about the medicine you take so you'll feel good enough to go TO WORK , and then you read , " DO NOT DRIVE OR OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY AFTER TAKING." Well , i should have read that BEFORE I took it , cause now what am I supposed to do , walk to work?

And all the warnings about injury or death. WARNING: WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR INJURY OR DEATH AS A RESULT OF USAGE OF THIS PRODUCT. And they think , after reading that, that I'm gonna get on that ride , or drink that , or eat this , or rub that under my arms , or put that on my head? Not me! I think from now on I'll just dig a well for water , grow all my own food, stop shaving under my arms and walk to work. And oh yea, I'm not reading anything else , cause it makes me have nightmares. And I sure ain't taking a sleeping pill.

3 comments:

Barbara said...

Good morning, Ava! Of course you can't take a sleeping pill! Provided you can get the bottle open...one of the side effects of a brand I won't state is...uncontrollable diarrhea! Knock you out, then give you a side effect like that?! Yeah...what the h*ll?

6boyzmom said...

Wow! Thats so funny. Just what ya need when you're sound asleep, huh?

Anonymous said...

That's like the "Do not use while sleeping" warning they put on curling irons these days. Um, is that *really* a necessary warning? Scary stuff.

WVButterfly