Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Why I buy lime tortilla chips

Most of the time it's easy to write my stories. I just think back over my day! But sometimes I think and think and nothing comes into my head. Wait! That didn't sound right. What I mean is my mind is blank. Dad gum it , that sounds worse! Oh well , I admit it , my mind is blank most of the time. That's why you can find me quite often wandering around Wal-mart , with that vacant stare in my eyes.

I should hire a shopper to do my grocery shopping. I try , I really do , but most of the time it just doesn't work out for me. Take yesterday , for example. The kids and I went to Wal-mart , to buy groceries. We were there 3 hours. I should have had 3 hours worth of groceries , you'd think. Or at today's prices , at least enough to feed us for 3 hours. When I finally found the out door, we had 2 ipods , a guitar hero game for ds ( which I don't even remember okaying so I think that one was snuck in the basket , so it's going back) some glitter , two wooden airplanes , some cat food , a gallon of milk , and some of those lime tortilla chips (again). I know milk and lime chips don't sound good together , and yes my husband wonders why we have such odd stuff for supper , but hey , I'm 52 years old! I have NO BUSINESS IN WAL-MART WITH A 7 AND 8 YEAR OLD IN THE FIRST PLACE! And he doesn't do such a great job either. The last time he had to do the grocery shopping with the boys , he came home with a screw driver , some duct tape and 4 packs of Yu-gi-oh cards.

OK, they weren't really ipods , they were mp3 players , but the boys think they are. And they play movies and music and photos , so I figured they were good enough. And they cost 150 dollars LESS than ipods. On the way home they were sitting in the back seat holding the boxes ( you know you can't get them open without scissors , a hammer ,screwdriver and a pair of pliers) and Cane says , " Mama, you said these were ipods. This says MP3 player." *hit! Well , I told him what any good honest mother would have. I told him that the reason it says mp3 player is because it is an ipod AND a mp3 player combined , which is much better than a plain old ipod.
Oh I know you think I'm awful ,but I'm telling you the things do a lot! They will hold movies , up to 1900 video clips and photos and 500 songs , just for starters. That's more than enough . I will not feel guilty over this one. After all we went there for hamburger meat and eggs , they should be happy.

The other day when we went to Wal-mart we had to take the hamsters inside with us. We had bought them at the pet store , then we went to Wal-mart for cages. The pet store had them , but ours is a very small pet store and the cages were 50 dollars. I figured they would be cheaper at Wal-mart and we needed 3 of them. So in I go with six kids ( or maybe it was 5 , I don't remember , but it was a lot ) all carrying shoe boxes. The return sticker girl person at the door asked if we were returning them all , and I had to tell her that it was hamsters. She said we don't sell hamsters so you can't return them. I said I know. She wanted to know why we brought them in so I had to tell her that it was 100 degrees outside , and the shoe boxes had a little hole on each end , and we needed cages and they would get too hot in the car , or escape. She said oh, OK , but make sure they don't get out, I'm scared of them. Well slap me silly , but Wal-mart is a BIG place , you know? Does she think if one escapes , that it's gonna make a beeline straight for her?

Oh , and my grand daughter had on : Black high heels with spider webs on them , a black square dance dress , a bright red belt and a plastic princess crown. Don't ask me why she dresses like that when we go some where. She looked pretty normal at the house , she had on jeans and a t shirt , and I told her we were going to go get hamsters and she went and got ready. I guess that's her hamster purchasing clothes? She's 14 and I can't figure her out , so I don't try. She loves me a bunch though. She always tells me her mom won't let her be her self and dress how she wants to , so when I have her, I let her. Once in awhile I get in trouble for it , but hey , what are they gonna do , spank me? Or maybe ground me? That might be fun . No work , no errands , just lay around the house. OK , I'm getting off track. Anyway , we were in there about 3 hours that time too. I have no idea why. They only had ONE KIND OF CAGE , so how in Sam hill could it take that long to pick them out? Well , while we were there Cane did accidentally bump into Eva and knock her shoebox out of her hand and the hamster ran out and around for a few minutes , but it didn't take THAT long to catch it. But I will tell you one thing: Most people are scared of hamsters. At least the people that go to Wal-mart.................

Well OK , sometimes my days get sidetracked and don't go quite as planned. Sometimes I'm scared to get out of bed. I don't know why things like this happen to me. I didn't wake up that morning and say , " Hey , I think we'll go spend the grocery money on ipod/mp3 players and then buy a bunch of hamsters and let one loose in Wal-mart and see what happens." I don't think my husband believes me when I tell him I don't do these things on purpose. And to the security people that have to watch the video tapes at Wal-mart , I SWEAR we didn't let the hamster loose on purpose and it WAS NOT a distraction tactic.


Anonymous said...

Please, please, please don't ever stop telling your stories! You're great at it :D


Carmen said...

Ohh I love it!!! I love it!! Keep telling your fab stories. I am smiling from ear to ear!

Anonymous said...

Bwahaha! Have you ever considered writing a book?