Monday, May 12, 2008

Our adventure to the storm shelter

Well , you know , there have been a lot of storms and tornadoes lately , and I've been worried because we don't have a storm shelter. I don't have the money to build one right now, so I thought I would borrow one. Well, not to bring here , although I would if I thought anyone would let me , but one that we could GO to and use , if need be. So I noticed one down on the end of the highway about a mile from here , beside a big brick house. I stopped there Saturday and asked the man that came to the door if we could use it if we needed to. He said sure , anytime. Well, I was exhilarated. I felt better just knowing that we had a storm shelter to go to.Little did I know.............

Anyway , storms were brewing all that day and I was paying close attention to the weather and getting things ready in case we had to make a run for it. I had blankets by the door , water bottles , jackets and flashlights in a bag , and I made sure that every ones shoes were by the door. I had the cell phone charged. I was as ready as I would ever be. Sure enough , the weather man gave the signal that our town was under a tornado watch so I told my husband that I had borrowed the use of the storm shelter down the road , and that we probably should go. He said , "I bet its dirty in there." Lord have mercy. Then he said , "I bet theres spiders in there." Well, heck , I never thought that maybe I should go down there ahead of time and make it all nice and homey for him. I mean , I wasn't planning on us staying there very long , you know.

Just about then ,the phone rang and it was one of my sons telling me that they had put everybody in the locker room at the plant he worked at. I told him we were fixing to go to the storm cellar. Then I had to tell him what storm cellar I was talking about. Ok , so I gathered the boys and picked up the water , blankets ,jackets and dog when , guess what? Yeah, the phone rang. So I sat it all down (again) and answered. It was one of my daughter-in-laws. She said ,"Theres a tornado watch so you better go to that storm cellar you were telling me about." I tell you , I had to bite my tongue. "We are." I said. "Well , when are you going, shouldn't you be going now?" I assured her that we should, and would do so , as soon as I got off the phone.

Ok , so round up the boys again , pick up all the stuff , and start out to the truck. Oh wait , I forgot my husband. He didn't know we were going cause he was back in the bedroom because we still haven't found the snake (wink wink). So I tell him , "We are going to the storm cellar now. It may be a little dirty , but it'll be ok. Are you going with us or are you staying here?" "Well, I guess I'll go too." he says. As usual, he's watching tv in his boxers. So he has to get dressed . But I have to find his clothes because he is INCAPABLE of dressing himself. So I sit all the **mn *h*t down on the floor again so I can get his clothes for him , and by now I am getting slightly irritated , if you know what I mean.

Finally,finally , we're ready and we all traipse out to the truck. After were sitting there and husband is cranking it up , my grandson says ,"Why are you bringing the weeny dog and not the cats?" OH MY GOD I COULD HAVE SCREAMED. but I didn't. I calmly explained that cats had a much better chance than dogs in a storm. Grandson asked me why. I told him because the cats would go under the back porch and the dog would run around in the yard barking. Well , grandson asked me what difference does it make if they are under the porch , if they're sucked out of there? I thought for a minute, while my husband kept asking over and over , what do you want me to do , what do you want me to do, over and over until I had to tell him to SHUTUP. "Timmy," I said "I would never be able to catch them. We probably can't even find them , they're probably off in the woods." He calls me DoeDoe. "DoeDoe, they're siting right by the truck looking at us." I peered out the window and sure enough, there they were, both of them , looking at us all pitiful. "Ok,Ok," I muttered, hoping and praying that he won't mention the snakes and crabs. So I take the **mn *h*t off my lap and sit it in the floor and get out and get the cats ,and jump in the truck with them.........

AND OH SWEET LORD IN HEAVEN, do you know what two cats can do to you when you throw em in a loud truck in the middle of a thunderstorm? If you don't , I hope you never have to find out. Well anyway , off we go. I have a sneaking suspicion that the tornado warning may be over by now , but after going through all that I AM GOING TO THE STORM SHELTER OR ELSE! Anyway , so we arrive at the storm shelter, and get out, very carefully because we have to make sure that none of the animals escape out of our arms. We walk over to the storm shelter and then all of a sudden we're slipping and sliding and falling , because the concrete pathway leading to it is covered with the slimiest mud you ever slid on in your life. Boy we must have looked a sight , sliding around out there with the boys hollering and cats spitting and meowing and the dog barking , and my husband said "I told you it was probably dirty," I swear he did , right there and then , when I could barely even stand up , so hitting him was not an option right at that moment.

But anyway, we finally get in the shelter and turn around to close the door and IT DIDN"T HAVE A DOORKNOB. I swear I'm telling the truth, and it opens to the outside so we couldn't shut the **&*(**& thing. Well, I thought I had read that you had to shut and latch them or you could be sucked out. It was a pretty big storm shelter , but I made us all huddle in the corner so if there was any sucking going on we could hold on to each other.And do you know what else not being able to shut the door meant? It meant that we had to HOLD the cats and dog. Thats right , we couldn't put them down cause they would run out (if they had any sense at all) and get in the highway. And they were pretty upset by now , I can tell you. Oh boy....anyway we sat there for about 15 minutes, with the dog barking and the cats yowling and my husband and I bickering back and forth about how we were gonna get mud in his truck , and he told me so , and hes pretty sure there ARE spiders in there , until Timothy told us to shutup. Things happen to you when you're under stress , and even though he was the child and we were the adults we did what he said. Imagine how we must have sounded down in there , to anybody that might have been passing by.

We sat there for another 10 minutes or so and I figured that it might be safe by now , so I asked Timothy to call daughter-in-law and see if the warning had been lifted. "I didn't bring the phone." he said . "Well, why do you think I wanted you to charge it?" Well he told me how he was just a kid and I didn't tell him to bring it. That I was the adult and I should have made sure that I brought it if I wanted it and yada yada yada. Then I made up my mind . It was time to go home. I hoped the warning was lifted , but if it wasn't I was going to take my chances with the storm. I'm pretty sure , if anyone had seen was staggering back into the house , all muddy and bleeding from cat scratches , they would have thought we had been hit.And Cane said "Mama, are we gonna have to go down there everytime it rains?"


Anonymous said...

Too funny!. Girl, you sure can write a funny story. Hope you got all you d*m* *h*t back in the house ok.


Anonymous said...

I love the way you can make a frightening situation sound comical :) You're great at telling a story!


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Edwina Sybert said...

When you know you are in danger, you won't give a damn about the cleanliness of the place. The only thing that would cross your mind is the safety of your family. As the saying goes, “family first before anything else”. It applies to everyone at any time of the day. Just be thankful that you were able to find a place where you can stay for a meantime.


Edwina @