Friday, April 25, 2008

Along came Jordan

Remember how the doctor had told me that Cane was a change of life baby? So 13 months later Jordan was born. Wait, that makes it sound simple and easy. Not hardly. First of all , I had to listen to the doctors progess reports again.(Jamacain , remember?) "Boy, this is gonna be a itsy , bitsy , teeny , weeny bebe." He would then hold out 2 fingers in a pinching motion ,to show me just how teeny. The doctor informed that this baby was also a boy , because he "Sure had some big KA-HOO-NAS." I had no idea what kahoonas were and I was afraid to ask. Finally, a light went off in my head. He was using the plural form , and I could think of nothing else that kahoonas would apply too. So , once again , I begged for him to stop with the progress reports , because THIS time, I had begun to have nightmares of giving birth to a midget , with giant bal-I mean kahoonas dragging the ground , while wearing a yellow polka dot bekini. Oh My God. Wonder I have a hair left on my head. Believe me, stress DOES make your hair fall out ,but thats a whole nuther story.So anyway , since I had a c-section last time , they scheduled one for this time. So the big day comes and I check in to the hospital and when the guy comes in to give me the gas , guess who it is? That's right, Mr. "Give me your teeth." Like I said. he was just a kid , younger than some of my boys , so I figure I'll set him straight right away and we won't have any problems this time. So I look him dead in the eye and say "Don't say nothing about my teeth , and I won't whip your *ss." He must have believed me cause he left my teeth alone. My sister says I did ok in the delivery room , except I looked like hell and kept mumbling "Make sure you tie my tubes.......make sure you tie my tubes."