Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Ok , so my grandson (he's 15 and lives with us) came home from his dads with a snake in a jar. He asked if he could keep it and I , being the wonderful person that I am said, "Not no, but HELL no." Well, he looked so sad (my grandson,not the snake) that I decided to let him keep it. Because after all, thats what being a boy is all about right. And these are the best years of his life (never mind that it's taking years off of mine) their only young once , blah,blah ,blah. So I let him keep it.

Anyway, my husband is even more scared of snakes than I am. I once saw him run out of the house screaming,all because of a little ole lizard Jordan brought in. Anyway , so my husband comes home and he says (screams) "Why do you have a snake in a jar?" Well, I told him cause the pet store was closed and we can't get an aquarium until tommorrow. He says, "But ya'll can't keep it. Now I really mean it this time. I didn't say too much about the pig , and I don't even want to talk about the tarantula , but NO SNAKES." I told him that I couldn't agree more,cause I don't like em either. So the next day when we went to the pet store to get the aquarium the woman told us we also had to have a mouse, a warm rock, some sand and a water dish. So I can't believe I paid 80 bucks to keep a snake I didn't even want.

Well, anyway , I think that Timmy is gonna put him in his room and I'll never have to look at him again,right? Is that what you think happened? Hell no, he put him right here by the computer. Why? So that the snake can keep him company while he plays his computer game. Ok, I'm getting off the subject. So Timmy sets the snake up in his new home , and I'm trying to come up with a story for my husband of why we still have the snake. So my husband comes home, sees the snake in the aquarium and starts screaming about how he BEGGED me not to keep the snake , and how he will never be comfortable in his own home , and yada-yada-yada. Well, I didn't say nothing , because what could I say?

So I began to notice that the snake goes under the sand everytime my husband walked by. Husband did not notice this, as he refused to look at him anymore. Probaly the snake was scared because of all the screaming and weeping , and figured that when the MAN human was near, that he should hide.

Ok, so next morning,my husband gets up and goes straight to the snake house, I guess to see if I had a change of heart and let him go. So I'm trying to drink my coffee and my husband say, "So you let the snake go?" All I said was, "No." and OMG , I never heard such screaming in my life. Made me drop my coffee cup. "WHERE IS HE THEN? HE"S NOT IN HERE!! HE"S GONE-HE'S GONE! WHERE IS HE?" Well , not being in too good of a mood , cause I never got to drink my coffee , I decide to play along. I jumped up on the nearest chair (keep in mind that I knew the snake was under the sand) screaming , "FIND HIM-FIND HIM!!"

Well hell, my husband jumped up on a chair too. My husband is 6 foot 4 and 200 lbs, but any notion I might have ever had about him protecting me went right out the window.So while we stood on the chairs and had a discussion about how the snake would have had to CHEW through the glass to get out, I decided not to tell him that he was under the sand. EVER. Anyone that believes that a snake can chew through glass and then repair the hole, deserves what ever he gets. Finally, my husband got off the chair , told me that I had ,"BETTER find that snake before he got home." and left for work. So I went and made another cup of coffee , and sat and watched the snake crawl out from under his sand. I got such a kick out of that , that I almost like the snake now.

That was about 2 months ago. I never told my husband that the snake was still in there, and the snake has never let him see him. Everyday , when my husband comes in the door he says, "Did you find the snake?" I shake my head sadly , and my husband goes to our bedroom. He watches TV back there now. Maybe he thinks its A SAFE PLACE. You should see my husbands eyes dart around......awww I shouldn't say that cause that sounds like I'm making fun. I was gonna tell him, really I was , but one day just kinda lead to another, and now I'm scared to tell him. I don't know what he'll do to me.


Tyra said...


~ jen ~ said...

I'm hooked.... I've got tears running down my face! Thank God I basically work by myself or the whole office would be at my desk wondering why I was howling in laughter....

I hate snakes, but I love your snake (just keep him at your house, I'll love him from afar).

First the stank water fly trap, then the goat (I'm from 2 peas)... still waiting patiently to heat about the flypaper wrapped around your head....

God, you are funny!

~ jen ~ said...

oops, should have proof read... heat = hear

Cheryl said...

Thanks for the LOL!!! My DH screams like a little girl when he sees a spider and it never stops being I totally get you torturing your husband with the snake!

I'm from 2 Peas too!!!