Wednesday, April 23, 2008

So last week, while I was going about my business, I looked out the door and I 2 little boys barreling down the drive way , followed by 3 more boys on bikes , our wiener dog , a saint Bernard , 2 cats and a goat. Well they all screeched to a stop in the yard and ran in the house. That's what I said . THEY ran in the house.All of em. I'm scared of goats. I don't know why. Maybe cause I never had one in the house before. Well , he liked it in there.He ran from room to room, sniffing and carrying on, while I screamed "Get that goat outta here!" I flapped my dishtowel at him , but it wasn't very effective from the other room. Well , the kids and dogs and cats chased him around for about 10 minutes and couldn't catch him. That makes it sound simple. It wasn't. It involved much bucking (goat) grabbing by horns (kids) and screaming (me).Well the goat finally settled down, right under my desk. You know, the part where I have to put my feet. I screamed "That goat can't stay there!" "Who's goat is it anyway?" "We don't know mama.He just followed us home-can we keep him?"What do they mean can they keep him? Hell , they can't even catch him. Anyway so the goat came out from under the desk , looked at me , and started running, YES I SAID RUNNING , towards me. I threw the useless dishrag down and ran to the bedroom, but in my sprint for life I failed to shut the door , and he came right on in. I jumped on the bed. I know that you know what I'm gonna say next. Yes , he jumped up on the bed too. Well, I was beside myself. I think my life flashed before my eyes. Every time I jumped , the goat jumped. (He must have done this before). I'm 52 and have had 6 boys , so every time I jumped , I peed. Every time I screamed I peed. I have no idea if the goat was peeing too because I was too scared to look. So FINALLY my husband came in from out back where he had been cutting grass and do you know what he said ? He said "Why do you have a goat on the bed?" OMG- I will hurt him bad someday. So I'm screaming, "GET IT OFF,GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!" I guess the goat was tired of playing so he jumped down and once again the chase was on. Finally one of the kids managed to grab him and hold on long enough for the picture. My husband took the picture. I was in the bathroom changing my pants.


Tyra said...

OMG That was the funniest thing that I have read in a LONG time! I know what you mean about the peeing and screaming, sadly lol